Warning—Adulting in Progress. Happy 15th Birthday Andrea

     As of 5:29 PM today, Andrea is celebrating day 5,478 of life. For the record, I asked ChatGPT to calculate that for me, and it didn’t include the three leap days that we’ve had. So, while artificial intelligence may take over the world someday, today is not that day. The 10.5-inch baby is now measuring 5’ 2”, although she constantly wishes to be taller. Nothing we say can get her to appreciate the almost 600% increase in her height since birth. I’m hoping that someday, she’ll see the perks of being petite.

I don't have a birthday picture to post. This is Andrea's door this morning.
Apologies to anyone who speaks Italian and finds all my translation errors.

    In some ways, the past year was really eventful, but in others, it was just normal life. Between March and June of 2023, Andrea successfully wrapped up middle school. She had the opportunity to sing with the 8th-grade chorus at the Dorney Park Music Festival in Pennsylvania, which was a wonderful experience. (I got to attend as a chaperone!) The chorus sang for two adjudicators and the teacher was provided with feedback about their performance. (They were awesome, especially considering it was a crazy-early start to the day) After the singing, they got to spend the day at Dorney Park, (an amusement park in Lehigh County, PA, for the non-locals who read this). The year ended with the 8th grade trip to Hershey Park, in Hershey, PA. The event was overshadowed by the Canadian wildfires… for a while, it looked like the whole thing would be canceled, but they were able to pull it off. Andrea was happy to spend a day just hanging out with her friends.  The middle school had a moving-up ceremony to celebrate the students' accomplishments. I cried a lot less than I expected to.

Middle School Moving Up Ceremony

    This past summer, Andrea had her first job. She has attended day camps since the summer after Kindergarten. From June until early August, she was a counselor in training, working with children ranging in age from about 6 up to 11 or 12. She found it to be a challenging experience but was willing to give it another shot this year, and has applied for a job at the same camp as a junior counselor.  If she’s accepted, she’ll actually get paid, which is an exciting next step for her.

    After camp ended, we took our annual vacation, this time to my favorite place in the world, Boothbay Harbor, Maine. It was definitely one of the best trips we’ve ever taken as a family and we got to enjoy everything the area has to offer. Andrea actually braved the Atlantic Ocean to swim - the water temperature was 62° F the day she went in. She also went kayaking with Ken and the brothers and we all enjoyed two boat trips - one a wildlife cruise, the other on a windjammer. And for us, no trip to Maine is complete without climbing the rocks at Pemaquid Point.

This was either right before, or right after, the kayaking

And here's the kayaking. Andrea and Dad together

Climbing the rocks at Pemaquid Point

Braving the ocean at Pemaquid Beach

They're all crazy!

On the Windjammer

Family dinner on our last night in Maine

    September brought the first day of 9th grade as Andrea started her last new school. Right before we went away, she decided to get a dramatic haircut. She’s had very long hair basically forever, and she made the decision to get it all cut off, into what she tells me is a “wolf cut”. It suits her so well and the shorter hair has made the mornings MUCH less stressful. Plus, she looks adorable.  

The new haircut

First Day of School

    She is taking Italian now, and loving it, forcing me to remember what I learned in the mid-to-late 80s so we can carry on a conversation. She’s also taking metal work, creating some beautiful jewelry pieces, and singing in the chorus.  She’s joined a few clubs, including the stage crew for the school drama productions and a singing group called the Shirley Tempos. She has also continued with her ceramics work outside of school.  Her art skills are amazing, but she’s her own worst critic. She has asked that I don’t show pictures of things she’s created. She’s very talented, but didn’t want me to post anything. Since she is a good sport about the rest of my blogging, I didn’t think it was worth nudging her on this point.

    The fall passed in a blur with Halloween and Thanksgiving sort of getting squeezed in around the rest of our lives, and Christmas was its usual crazy family time. We cut our tree at St. Paul’s Abbey and Andrea took a turn with the saw. She still let the boys carry it back to the car though. I think this was the first year that there were NO toys under the tree. Andrea wanted clothes, jewelry, cell phone accessories, and concert tickets. Next year’s birthday post will report on the experience she has at the Melanie Martinez concert this spring. 

Cutting our Christmas tree

    Every year I’m thankful for every minute we’ve had together as a family. I’m grateful that there are still people who look forward to this annual post and follow Andrea’s story. When we were still in the NICU, one of her nurses told us that “someday, you won’t even think about this whole experience”. Ken & I thought she was crazy - we’re both scarred in some ways by having lived through the ordeal. But honestly, the nurse was right. Most of the time, Andrea is like every other person her age. She’s got a great group of friends, and a variety of interests, gets good grades in school, and loves her family. Once in a while, I have the opportunity to tell her story, and it feels like it was another life, or that it happened to someone else. We got so lucky with our outcome, and we’re luckier still in the person that Andrea is growing up to be. 

Buon compleanno bella Andrea.

Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,

Tell me who wants to look back on their years

and wonder where those years have gone.

~Garth Brooks, The Dance

OMG! Fourteen Seems So Much Older Than Thirteen!

     When I started this blog, Andrea was only a few days old. The first post was Sunday, March 1, 2009. I posted every day when she was in the hospital, then on and off for the first year or so.  I made the decision to stop the intermittent postings and only put up one "year in review" on her birthday each year. I've pretty much followed the same format - "As of 5:29 PM today, Andrea is celebrating X days of life."  Well, it's 3:28 AM on Sunday, February 26th and I can't sleep.  I finally gave up trying and decided I'd write out my annual celebration of Andrea a little earlier than usual.  As I tried to gather my thoughts for today, I started thinking back to this date and time 14 years ago.  We knew Andrea was going to be early. She was born on a Thursday - Wednesday night a few people from the NICU came to talk to me - a neonatologist and respiratory therapist for sure - maybe one or two others as well.  The doctor gave me a lot of overwhelming data about what we could expect and how precarious the situation was. ("Every day inside translates to about a 3% survival rate!"). When I was originally admitted to the hospital, I naively thought I'd be there until 34 weeks and wondered how I'd manage away from home for so long. (I was at 25 weeks and 5 days when I got there). After talking to the NICU team, I was hoping to hold on to 28 weeks, which would drastically improve our odds of a positive outcome.  I don't remember much about my time between that conversation and Andrea's delivery, but I'm pretty sure I didn't sleep soundly that night. It seems fitting, then, to be awake at this ungodly hour and write about our miracle. 

The tradition continues.
Cake from #LastLicks in East Hanover.
@LastLicks

 

Official birthday picture -
just taken one day early

    As of 5:29 PM today, Andrea is celebrating day 5,113 of life. She is 5 feet, two inches tall (157.5 cm), or 15 times her length at birth. She is in 8th grade, and preparing for high school! She's continuing her study of French, Art, and Chorus (her true interests) along with the required academics of math, English, science, and world history. In choosing her classes for high school, she opted to continue French and chorus and has requested metal arts, which is a jewelry-making class. If possible, she'd skip the core classes and take nothing but art. Her talent continues to grow, both in her project art class and her ceramics class, but she has asked that I don't post pictures of her work. She is her own worst critic where her creativity is concerned, but I have to respect her request.

    

First Day of 8th Grade

    For Andrea's 13th birthday party, she celebrated with her friends @MudClayStudios in Madison. This is the place she attends her weekly pottery classes and I think she enjoyed sharing one of her passions with everyone. When she attends classes, Andrea does both hand work and pottery wheel, but for her party, all the guests made something by hand. The instructor threw a pot on the wheel that was then decorated with pieces made by her friends. It turned out to be a wonderful keepsake of the day, and I think everyone enjoyed getting a little dirty.

    We had a busier than usual spring since both brothers graduated from college: Kenny G from the University of Maine 

Orono in early May is still chilly!

and Kenny C from The College of New Jersey (or "Trenton State" for the old-timers).

New Jersey in late May is more pleasant!

    Our vacation this summer was to Ocean City, MD, and Assateague Island.  Unlike most of our other vacations, this one had a little downtime.  We rode bikes on Assateague, and Andrea and the guys spent some time swimming in the ocean and playing in the sand. They get along pretty well, considering the age difference. We managed to get a few pictures where they even look like they love each other.

    Last year, Andrea was thrilled to get her ears pierced. The novelty has not worn off - at last count she has about 200 pairs of earrings and thoughtfully chooses which ones to wear every day.  Sadly, the new edition this year was not greeted with the same enthusiasm as the piercing.  She got BRACES.  We knew it was coming... both Ken and I had them, as did Kenny G, but Andrea had too many baby teeth to get them before this year. During the long Covid lockdowns, she actually lost the majority of the remaining baby teeth, and the few remaining were pulled so she could finally get started.  She was NOT happy, although we tell her she'll feel better when the braces are off and she has beautiful, straight teeth.

At least she can choose the band colors

    Andrea continues her involvement in the Livingston Leaders Club and has been recognized twice by her schools as a "Lancer Jr. Leader". She is going to be a "Counselor in Training" at summer camp this year, and we think her experience with the Learders will help her in that new roll.  She is growing into a kind, thoughtful, and caring young adult, and it makes us proud that her teachers often comment on that aspect of her character. She is a good student and works hard on her schoolwork, but she is more often recognized for her treatment of others. Unlike her mother, she has a sense of style (probably channeled from her aunts) and loves dressing for any occasion.

    In a lot of ways, this was a pretty uneventful year. Life is more normal than it's been since the pandemic began. When I started thinking about what to include this year, I felt like there wasn't much in terms of "big" news - We're kind of in a holding pattern as she finishes middle school. Looking ahead, I believe this next year is going to be one with a lot of changes, new experiences, and new challenges.  As I lay in the hospital bed on February 26, 2009, I felt as if it was all a dream, or happening to someone else. Once Andrea was born and I saw her in the isolette in the NICU, I couldn't imagine ever bringing that tiny, fragile, delicate baby home. Somehow, time has passed, and this:

has become this:

and we are so thankful.

There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.

                                            

    ~ C.S Lewis

Joyeux anniversaire pour tes 13 ans, belle Andrée! (Happy 13th Birthday, Beautiful Andrea!)

    

13 Today!

    As of 5:29 PM today, Andrea is celebrating day 4, 748 of life! She is in 7th grade; truly a "middle-schooler", and studying French, among other things. (Thank you Michelle Terzini-Hollar for the translation!) She enjoys French, Chorus, and "Project Art", a class that meets every other day during an enrichment period. She's less enthusiastic about Math (pre-algebra), history, and English, but she works hard and gets good grades.  I think she's torn about being back in school full time. She enjoyed not having to get up so early and be dressed and functioning, whereas now she needs to be in the car before 8 every day.  On the other hand, she gets to see actual real live people, (*cue Frozen - "For the First Time in Forever") and some classes are definitely better in-person. Not throwing shade at anyone for last year - we know that all teachers are doing their best. It's just been hard for everyone.

First Day of 7th Grade

    Just like last year, it's been a strange 365 days, (Thanks again, COVID!) so activities were limited.  For her 12th birthday, we were able to rent a movie theater, so she and her friends were together, just distanced.  Everyone got popcorn and drinks, but we sent the kids home with cupcakes instead of having cake in the theater.  She is continuing to take ceramics classes at a local studio, improving her use of a pottery wheel and doing a lot of hand building. She was also able to go back to summer camp and made some great new friends while getting out of the house for a while each day.  Because of the isolation of quarantine, remote schooling, and social distancing, Andrea got her first phone. It seems like a big rite of passage, especially since we were planning to hold off until 8th grade. It made a difference, being able to text her friends, even when they couldn't safely see each other.

    The big news was the acquisition of PIERCED EARS this fall! I think she would have liked to get them done sooner, but that was something else derailed by Covid.  Many places were closed, or we just didn't feel safe going.  We had an awesome experience at Pleasurable Piercings in Hawthorne - no fainting or other drama. Andrea is anxiously awaiting the time when she'll be able to change out the starter earrings for something different, which should be any day now.

    This summer, our family vacation was to Tennessee. In an effort to be as Covid-safe as possible, we drove down, opting to avoid crowded airports and planes. The guys were able to take turns at the wheel, but poor Andrea had a 12+ hour car ride with few distractions. She bore up like a trooper!  No trip to the Volunteer State is complete without a stop at Dollywood, of course.  Andrea is now tall enough to ride EVERYTHING, and she seems pretty fearless. Luckily, Daddy and Kenny George are also pretty fearless, so Mommy was spared the roller coasters and other crazy rides.  We also visited Great Smokey Mountain National Park and stood in Tennessee and North Carolina at the same time.  We did an escape room in Gatlinburg that was a ton of fun, and Andrea was really able to help solve the clues.  We went to the Aquarium of the Smokies, which is interesting because it's the only aquarium we've been to that's not on a coast. Andrea the Brave also rode the mountain coaster along with the big guys, while Mom stayed firmly on the ground.

    Andrea is still participating in the town's Leader's Club, but it's been modified again for safety. They're meeting only in the fall and spring when they can be outside. Many of their activities have been curtailed also - no bingo at the senior center, for example, but they had a food drive in the fall and I'm sure they will have other events when they pick up again in April.  I love her involvement in this group because she gets to associate with people she doesn't necessarily see in school. It's a chance for her to work with different people and learn to interact with a variety of personalities.

    Andrea is still a Harry Potter fan, although she's moved on to some other things now. However, we recently visited Harry Potter: The Exhibition at the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia.  Mom and Dad came along with us, and we made a mini-vacation out of the trip.  We got to sort ourselves into houses, with Andrea being a proud Hufflepuff as usual. I, of course, was my normal Slytherin self. We got to play Quiddich, replant Mandrakes, cast spells, and mix potions, all while earning house points. Here is Andrea sitting in Hagrid's chair.

 We also went to the Museum of the American Revolution, which was an amazing stop. It opened in 2017 and is worth a visit if you happen to be in Philly. They have George Washington's original war tent on display, along with some really interesting artifacts from the revolutionary period.  Much to our surprise, this museum was Andrea's first choice of where to go. Unfortunately, it was a quick trip, and we didn't have a chance to visit any of the art museums. They are high on her bucket list for the next time.

    We took an Amazon Explore trip to Paris today. For years, Andrea has been interested in France, and anxiously awaited the time that she'd be able to learn to speak French.  We spent an hour being guided around some of the major sites in Paris, then had a French-themed meal to wrap up the day. Cheese fondue, followed by beef and chicken, and ending with chocolate! Of course, no birthday in our house is complete without a Last Licks cake. Thank you, Danielle, for another amazing creation!

If you need an ice cream cake, you can't go wrong with Last Licks!

    Every birthday is a milestone, but somehow, 13 seems momentous. When she was born, a lot of people didn't expect Andrea to come home from the hospital.No one came right out and said that, of course, but it was understandable. When I started this blog, I also didn't expect to still be writing it (albeit less often) 13 years later. We're grateful that Andrea has continued to thrive and equally grateful that people care enough to still follow her story. I hope she continues to provide inspiration to others.

Photo HIghlights:

"As the years pass, I am coming more and more to understand that it is the common, everyday blessings of our common everyday lives for which we should be particularly grateful."

~ Laura Ingalls Wilder

The last "Pre-Teen" Birthday. Happy # 12 Andrea

As of 5:29 PM today, Andrea is celebrating day 4,383 of life. She's 4 feet 11 inches tall, and occasionally borrows MY snow boots if hers are too wet.  Granted, they're too big for her, but not by much! (She's wearing her own in this picture)

As for everyone, this has been a strange year thanks to COVID.  As a result, we don't have as much to share as previous years.  I'll recount the highlights, such as they were, but it's been a challenging time for many.

The original plan for Andrea's 11th birthday was a trip to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter.  That did NOT happen (thanks Covid!) but Grammy (Beautiful Andrea the First) and Pa stepped in and she had a painting party with her friends at Color Me Mine, before everything shut down.  Of course, the entire theme was Harry Potter.  At the time of the party, COVID wasn't even a thing in the US yet, so we assumed we'd still be able to take our trip.  Given how the year turned out, we're so grateful that she had the chance to celebrate.

Andrea participated in an enrichment class called TREP$ last spring. It is an entrepreneurship program where students learn about product design, manufacturing and marketing.  She worked with a friend to create stress balls and slime (big seller among the elementary population), which were then sold at the school's TREP$ marketplace.  They made a profit, so everyone went home happy, except the parents that now had slime in the house, thanks to my kid.

Last year was Andrea's final year in elementary school. Usually, there are all kinds of fun things for the students, which of course didn't happen.  The staff and PTO did the best they could, but it was so sad and bittersweet to say good bye without being able to say good bye.  The PTO purchased some memorabilia for the students and her teachers made home deliveries.  It gave us a chance to say a socially distanced THANK YOU, and for Andrea to pass along notes that she'd written.  We've been connected to that school since 2007, so it was hard!

For the first time ever, we took no summer vacation, and Andrea didn't go to camp.  We didn't even join the town pool.  We had a low-key few months at home, making use of the back yard for visits with the family.

In September, Andrea started MIDDLE SCHOOL.  Like many places, her school is not full time in person. She currently goes in for two half day sessions per week, and the rest of her classes are remote.  Luckily, Ken is able to work from home, so she's not alone in the house. She's been able to have some new experiences though, even with the challenges of remote learning.  In the fall, she had a Family and Consumer Sciences (FCS) class, where she learned some basic cooking and sewing skills.  Her culminating project was to cook a full meal for the family.  Of course, we had to go over the top, making a full-blown Italian meal: Lasagna, meatballs, sausage, sauce, broccoli, and garlic bread.  Dessert was apple crisp. Not Italian I know, but we all like it.

She's also been able to take a computer business applications class, and general music.  Shortly, she'll get to have technology (which is STEM based, as opposed to computers) and Art.  These are cycle classes that change after about 35 days.  She's also learning French, which she's been excited to do for a long time.  If I had to guess, FCS was probably her favorite class, but French is a close second!  She abandoned clarinet after last year, but continues to sing in the chorus. They're able to meet weekly on Zoom, and managed to perform one song live for the parents in January, also on Zoom.

She belongs to a town club called Livingston Peer Leaders. They normally meet monthly, but they've transitioned to twice a month, but only when the kids can be outside.  The focus in the group is on community service projects and charitable giving. They've gone to senior homes to play BINGO with the residents (pre-Covid) and made cards for service members.  It's been one of her few social outlets.

She recently started a pottery class and is learning to use a pottery wheel.  She continues to be very interested in art and frequently spends her time drawing or painting.  She also loves to write, and is working on a novel. Yes, a novel. At last check, she had written over a hundred pages, typed.  I am not allowed to read it, but Ken gets to see every chapter.

In no way was this year what anyone wanted for their families. Ken and I are proud of how well Andrea has dealt with the stressors of being home so much. She misses her friends, who she really can't see. She does like not having to get up and dressed so early every day, and LOVES getting to be home with Charlie, the dog, and Jeremy, the cat.  I think having them for company has made things a little less awful.

"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things."

~ Robert Brault

In the Wizarding World, 11 is a Big Deal!

Happy 11th Birthday!

As of 5:29 PM today, Andrea is celebrating day 4,017 of life. Conveniently, we had a doctor’s appointment yesterday, so we have an “official” height of 57 inches. She’s more than five times her birth length!  In keeping with my new policy from last year, I won’t post her weight. However, according to the doctor, her BMI is “perfect”, so she’s all caught up with her growth.

The big news from last spring is that Andrea has mastered a two-wheeled bicycle. (Redundant, I know, but I mean without the training wheels).  She struggled for a long time, trying to learn to balance without the extra wheels.  Ken is a saint, and spent hours outside with her, in the nasty weather of March and early spring.  Almost every day after school, they were up and down the block.  She was determined to learn, and she finally mastered the bike!

I’m not sure if I’m grateful or not, but Andrea’s 4th grade teacher got her hooked on the Harry Potter series.  One day, Mrs. Carabello sorted the students into the Hogwarts houses, and Andrea fund up as a proud Hufflepuff.  For my readers who are not up on their Harry Potter knowledge, Hufflepuffs are “just and loyal” and “patient….true and unafraid of toil.”  It’s a pretty accurate assessment of Andrea - I’m wavering on the “patient” part, but she is loyal and hard working, and a kind person.  She’s worked her way through all the books (we’re on the second reading of The Order of the Phoenix now) and has seen all the movies.  Her upcoming birthday party is 100% Harry Potter, and we’re taking her to The Wizarding World at Universal Studios in the spring.  The 11th birthday is a big deal in the wizarding world.

Sorted into Hufflepuff

It’s a weird thing to say, but at the age of 11, we’re still trying to help Andrea find her passions. It seems that many of her friends have found their niches. On the other hand, I’m 50, and I’m not sure I’ve found MY niche! She’s tried a lot of different things, but there hasn’t yet been something that sparks her.  She’s musical, playing clarinet in the band and singing in the chorus at school.  She does love art, and can draw well. She seems interested  in interior design, helping pick curtains and furniture for our house, and negotiating paint colors with Ken. She has tried a lot of sports, from soccer, to softball, to gymnastics, but there hasn’t been anything she’s loved.  We pushed swim lessons for safety, and she does swim well, but prefers to play in the water, instead of swimming laps. (Do any kids LIKE swimming laps???)

Andrea's drawing of Jeremy, our new kitten

She did another summer at Camp Discover at Fairleigh Dickinson University last summer. She had fun on mismatch day, and enjoyed the trips to Medieval Times and Frozen on Broadway. We also took a Carnival cruise for my birthday. It was Andrea’s second cruise, and this one featured “Seuss at Sea.” We had Green Eggs and Ham and took our pictures with Sam I Am, Thing One and Thing Two and The Cat in the Hat (of course). Andrea also did Build a Bear and BINGO, even winning $100 during one game.  She did a great job at giant Jenga too!

Mismatch day at Camp

Build a Bear on Carnival

Nose Spoons for everyone on Carnival

Carnival Jenga

5th grade has been a good experience so far. It’s her last year in her current school - she’ll transition to a “middle school” next year. To prepare the students for switching classes all day next year, the kids do a little bit of it this year. Andrea gets to see different teachers for Social Studies and Science, and has Math and English with her homeroom teacher.

First day of 5th Grade!

In the fall, we went back to Maine to visit Kenny G at college.  The highlight for Andrea was the pool (outdoors, in Maine, in late September - too cold for me!) and having BUTTERBEER we got from an ice cream vendor. I wasn’t kidding about the Harry Potter obsession.  She actually dressed up as a Hufflepuff student for Halloween. Three friends filled the roles of Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Slytherin for trick-or-treating.

The pool was TOO COLD for Mom!

Butterbeer in Orono

Another favorite activity is baking. For Pa’s 80th birthday celebration, she made and decorated cupcakes. She’s progressed to the point where all I do is put things into the oven and take them out when their done. She does all the measuring, mixing, pouring and decorating herself. She is always happy to help me, too.  Most recently, she made cinnamon rolls from “The Unofficial Harry Potter Cookbook.” We’ll be making chocolate frogs and chocolate wands for he Harry Potter party.  These are Pa's birthday cupcakes. Although his birthday is in August, we celebrated in November, so she went with a Christmas theme.

It’s hard to believe that another year has passed. We’ll never know how Andrea might have been different if she’d been born closer to her due date. But anyone meeting her now for the first time  can’t tell she had such a dramatic entry into the world. I get such pleasure from telling her story because we know there is a happy outcome. She continues to be an inspiration to others we meet who are embarking on their own preemie journeys. When she was born eleven years ago, we were looking for reasons to be hopeful. Today, Andrea has become the reason for others to hope.

Andrea's birthday poster. This will hang on her bedroom door until she's 12!

"You don't always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go, and see what happens." 

~ Mandy Hale